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- I looked down and could of pee’d my pants.
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- Nothing even mattered at this point, sushi saved our lives. I would of died a happy woman.
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- Almost there!
Our nation’s capital, D.C.! Oozing with culture and self-sufficiency. Rich and bold, I tell you! The place where the United States consolidates all it’s precious history, and reign. The place that solemnly swears to persevere towards a strong and glorious future for our children to come. Where one can say, “AH, America. The magic happens here”. D.C….
….also home to the worst metro system known to man.
If the expense of being pulled into a system that forces one to pay by the distance of travel is not frustrating enough. A month ago I went to D.C. to visit some friends, and let me tell you, Dupont Circle has the most treacherous, terrifying, life altering, imma-pray-to-jesus-just-in-case-even-though-he-let-them-build-this-damned-escalator I have ever used in my dear life. When someone says, “Do NOT look down”, you don’t look down. Plan to wear matching panties next go around because from the tippy top of the machine as you are looking down into your impending doom, frozen from fear; and locals are walking past and bumping you there are only two things left to think. 1. I am going to die and 2. Did I delete all those scantly clad photos of my ex from my computer? Mother would be so disappointed.
Preparing for your demise, is truly how this beast of an escalator makes you feel. Or at least to me, because the ride up or down are equally scary, and the redness of my hands from the grip I had on the railing definitely showed some sort of anxiety if my face wasn’t fright enough. Luckily, I made it back to my friends home without a scratch or bump. And I didn’t think twice about it until recently.
Here in Atlanta, I do a lot of walking, driving too, but mostly walking. The public transportation is cheap but reliable, I suppose, I never use it. So, it wasn’t until last weekend at a company Christmas party, when a couple co-workers of mine started to complain about the Marta bus drivers and their ability to move with such urgency and fear as Sandra Bulluck in the movie Speed, where love and terror coincide.
Sadly, some time prior to my experience others did not enter the train station with such ease. Check out the video.
Glad I wasn’t them. Cruel to say, but it’s a me or you type thing! You have to consider all possibilities, and to say the least I would rather of been a person in the very back of that pit because at least you have some cushion to break the fall. Right?
As gnarly as D.C. is, and the money that’s put into the cleanliness of the metro stations it really can’t be that hard to find funds to keep that bastard of a motorized staircase sufficient and self sustainable. None-the-less, I propose an original idea. A regular staircase. We all could use the exercise. Plus, widening out the space with open stairs could easily help clear it of congestion and fear of imminent death. D.C., you base everything on change, ingenuity, and pursuit of happiness. Maybe part of that means to consider the livelihood of your people by providing safer and affordable transportation. If not, all is well, upon visits I will just continue to hold that railing tight and throat chop any stranger that tells me I’m in the way.
Live Strong and Prosper.
***UPDATE****
These Fun Theory people may be on to something. If I was in proximity to this I would walk up and down those stairs everyday.
